


Reckless

by dreamingdaegu



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Idols, M/M, Secret Relationship, this sounds angsty but I promise it's mostly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 03:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18421632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingdaegu/pseuds/dreamingdaegu
Summary: They both know that they should stop; they both know that they won’t.





	Reckless

Reckless.

That would be the truest word to describe it.

There are a lot of other words that San could think of to use. _Plenty_ of them. Exciting, passionate, fun, dizzying. Sensual and sweet and heart-fluttering.

But if he had to choose, it would be reckless. Because that is what this is, really, when it comes down to it.

They’re rookies, barely debuted. The world is about to unfurl itself at their feet. They already have the makings of stars. A dedicated fanbase, popular MVs. They’ve even got a world tour, only months into their fledgling careers. Sure, it’s not been easy to get here, and it’s not like these things have been handed to them for free. No one sees the tears, the pain, the pressure. The excruciating rehearsals and exhaustingly long hours, the heated arguments and the long management meetings to sort them out. 

But for all the lows, there's so many highs. They’ve achieved so much already, their own accomplishments staggering to them, and there’s even more ahead, ready for the taking – if they keep on driving towards it. And that's exactly what they need to do. They need to keep on track. To not give into distractions, stay focused on the dream.

What they definitely _don’t_ need to do is anything dangerous. Nothing that can push them off their path. Nothing to get them into _trouble_.

San knows this. He knows, too, that Wooyoung knows this.

And yet, somehow, neither seems able to stop. Neither can give into the voice of reason, or exercise the self-restraint that they should.

They aren’t dumb; both of them know what this would do to their careers if it got out. Know that all of their hard work and determination and talent would be meaningless when faced with a dating scandal, especially for rookies like them. _Especially_ between two men. But deep-down, San knew from the beginning that it was impossible not to give in to this.

Something about Wooyoung was just- _different_ , right from the start. Before meeting Wooyoung, San had never even thought to question his sexuality. Never had a reason to. He liked girls, and occasionally had kissed them, and sometimes even progressed to messy fumbles behind closed doors. He was straight, and there was nothing _wrong_ with guys liking guys, but well- that just wasn’t him. 

Wooyoung changed all of that without even trying. There was a spark about him that drew San in straight away. He was handsome and confident and awfully endearing. Friendly and playful, but with a focus on his dreams that was often startling in its intensity. A bewildering mix of elements that San found attractive in their own right but bundled all up inside of Wooyoung, it was real fucking intriguing.

And even though San had never thought about a boy like that before, he couldn’t hold back from those paths his thoughts began to travel down. His entire focus in those early days should have been on training, on their debut, on their goal, but somehow all San could find himself thinking of was Wooyoung. His bright smile, his wild laugh; the way, sometimes, his gaze seemed to turn that little bit more piercing when it settled on San. The way he touched all the members, though with San, his fingers always seemed to linger that little bit longer.

The way it first happened was just as reckless as the rest of their encounters have been since. In the back seats of the car at night, being driven back to the dorms. The other members passed out asleep around them. The air was still, and quiet, and heavy with an odd kind of tension that San struggled to explain. Not uncomfortable just- unusual. Off-kilter.

Wooyoung had been whispering something to him. Hushed, and far too flirtatious, but toeing the line just enough to pass off as friendly if needed. Teasing and pushing at the boundaries, cautious and yet somehow way too much at the same time.

San was nowhere near as sure of himself as he attempted to tease back, but he did so anyway. Testing the edges of their friendship just like Wooyoung was doing. In the dark, static air of the car, everything felt surreal. Like it wasn’t the real world somehow; like whatever they did next wouldn’t have consequences.

Maybe that’s why it happened. Maybe that’s why Wooyoung’s mouth first brushed against San’s jaw. Why, rather than dismiss it as an accident, San turned his head just enough to capture his lips fully in a small, swift kiss. Neither had said anything; simply grinned, barely visible in the darkness, before leaning in to take more kiss again before anyone noticed.

It didn’t stop there. They shared moments like that again, and again; countless kisses stolen in quiet corners, in empty studios, beneath covers while the others slept. Sending wildly inappropriate texts to each other in the middle of busy backstage rooms. Laughing and whispering conversation to each other wherever they were. Neither talked about what was happening, as though, somehow voicing what it was out loud would break the spell. Cast too much seriousness over the giddy rush that came with their secret. And it was fine, and it was fun. San never expected it to last. It was a few - many - moments of weakness. A blip on his otherwise focused and regular life.

He can't play it off quite so easy these days. They both know that they should start to take it more seriously, that they should before more careful, because here they are, months later, still just the same.

They’re not fools. They know the consequences of keeping this going. And yet, around each other, they can only act foolish. Pushing the limits in front of the camera and playing it off as fanservice; fleeting touches behind the scenes, with staff only seconds away; spending any moment of free time together, still giddy and grinning and ridiculous.

San knows that he should stop; that one of them should be sensible. But it’s hard in moments like this. The roar of the crowd drifting through from the venue, filtering down the backstage corridors. There’s the murmur of voices; of stylists, of producers, of make up artists. Of the other members joking around and warming up.

It’s hard when he’s in here, in this cramped bathroom stall with Wooyoung’s breath against his cheek and searching hands pushing underneath his shirt. When he feels nails scrape against his stomach and teeth bite teasingly at his lower lip. The low sound of Wooyoung’s gasps rumble against his skin as San’s fingers grip his waist and pull him closer.

They both know that they should stop; they both know that they won’t.

“Where the hell are they?”

Outside of the bathroom they can hear Hongjoong’s muttered words, worry clearly creeping in. They’re pushing it maybe too far, only minutes to go until they take the stage. And yet San can’t resist one last kiss, long, hard, searing. He feels Wooyoung whine softly into it. Kind of hopes that Wooyoung will be left thinking about it for the whole show. That it might rile him up enough that at the hotel tonight there’ll be torn off clothes and desperate hands and sweat and skin and-

“Two minutes to stage,” comes the voice of one of the crew.

Wooyoung lets out a low sigh. Tips his head forward, resting it against San’s. He glances up, their eyes meeting.

In that moment, some of the lust trickles away. It leaves Wooyoung looking far younger, unusually open. More vulnerable than he likes to let people see. One of those rare moments where it sinks in what a truly dangerous position they’re in. What they’re risking by doing this.

But there’s more than that. More than fear. Beneath it all there’s fondness and warmth and- sometimes, San thinks, he sees something even _deeper_. Even more raw and honest than what they’ve shown to each other so far. Something that he feels himself too, in moments, although he’s too scared to put a name to it just yet.

Because as much as they can’t get enough of the kisses and the touches and the sex-

There’s more that drives this thing that they have. There’s more than pure desire. Far more.

Wooyoung’s fingers fall from San’s stomach. San can still feel their mark left on his skin, even as they drop away to instead tangle loosely with his own. Holding hands, only briefly, a moment of odd sweetness amongst it all. San gives his hand a short squeeze back and Wooyoung smiles; genuine and small. It somehow makes San’s heart thump even more fiercely than before.

There’s a pause, hanging in the air. San finds himself almost holding his breath. And then-

“One minute,” calls the crew member.

“Shit, where are they?” comes their leader’s voice straight after.

San watches Wooyoung. Holds his gaze maybe a moment longer than he should before they both nod. Wooyoung slips out first. San waits a few moments before carefully exiting the bathroom too. Luckily no one seems to notice that they arrive together, nor their somewhat dishevelled appearance. They’re only focused on relief that they’ve reappeared right on time.

They rush to the side of the stage, the sound of the intro video blasting out in the concert hall. The screams of the crowd reach a deafening crescendo. Across the screen comes the final words.

_What is your treasure?_

The video stops. The cheers grow louder. In the darkness, San feels a touch at his back, hears a _good luck_ whispered too close to his ear. Right as they step out on stage, Wooyoung turns just enough to cast back a wink.

San can’t help but grin.

Perhaps they can stay reckless for a while longer yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh, this is my first foray into Ateez fic! I just love these dorks and was like.. must... write... fic... Sorry it was kind of short but i hope you enjoyed - please do let me know what you thought!!
> 
> <33


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